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The Family Tree is a growing archive of information and music from every band in which an RBi member has ever been involved... The archive is constantly growing. Browse the Family Tree and download hundreds of free mp3s.
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How About That!
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Oct
9
Written by:
matt
10/9/2008

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/09/us/09water.html
The great bastion of liberal elite media has finally succumbed to the lure of the witch. Must be the approaching All Haints Night that brings it out in them. What's next? An article on the recent mid-western vampirism epidemic?
But I digress... This article reminded me of a certain legend that my great grandmother Luther told me:
Back in the Virginia Bronze Rush days of 1722, there lived a man named Cornelius Hudson Hornwall. He was a learned gentleman dandy who dressed in the latest top hat fashions from gay Paris, dipped cocaine snuff, and drank brandy from a tiny snifter. His gums were black with the licorice and tea stains of thirty years.
Hornwall was a cheater man who bought that which he sold. In addition, he was a prospector who had a peculiar talent for tapping his cane on the ground and finding bronze ore deposits - a real life dowser! He would rent his talent to anyone willing to give him seventy percent of their findings. Oh, what a scoundrel was he!
And then he died one night and his body grew so cold. Now he's ethereal - a wandering soul. He is doomed to forever roam the night, always tapping his cane and dowsing for bronze, which is a man-made alloy that is not found in nature. A just punishment for such a cheater man!
Children be warned!! If you lie to your parents or cheat your friends, you just may hear The Amherst Ghost come a-tapping at your window late at night. You may smell his licorice-laced cocaine breath on the midnight breeze. Know this! The only way to make him leave you be is thus: steal a snifter of your parents' best brandy and make a toast:
"To The Amherst Ghost! You dandy ol' scallywag!!"
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The Amherst Ghost IS HERE!!!
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